I used to be a chronic complainer. Nothing would ever go right, somebody was always being a jerk & life wasn’t fair. Ever.
Here’s what my life looked like at the time:
- I was in massive debt, behind on almost every payment, avoiding daily phone calls from collection agencies. I was convinced at any minute, someone was going to show up and repo my car
- I had this on-again-off-again relationship on the go. It was reaching its 2-year anniversary
- I was unemployed
- I lived in my uncle’s basement
What I’ve come to learn is that all the time and energy I spent complaining, only trained my brain to find more things to complain about!
It wasn’t necessarily that so many things in my life were terrible, I had just conditioned myself to only see the crappy parts.
It wasn’t until I decided to knock it off, that I began to see the beauty in my life. I had to make the conscious decision to only focus on the good parts. Doing this allowed room for more good to come into my life.
Was it easy? Oh goodness nooooooo!
Making excuses was easy:
- I lived in an expensive city (Fort McMurray, Alberta). It's hard to get ahead here unless you work for one of the major oil companies.
- The guy was afraid of commitment. He just needed some space to see how awesome we are together.
- My boss was a jerk and didn't deserve a hard worker like me.
- I was only staying with my uncle for 6 months.
The reality was I was making poor decision after poor decision, and it all led me to this point. Admitting to that meant I was admitting to being a bit of an idiot.
Nobody wants to admit they’re an idiot.
But when I committed to taking 100% responsibility for my life, everything changed.
- I stopped spending money on things I couldn't afford, like take-out.
- I stopped waiting around for the guy to realize how awesome I was and got busy living my life
- I applied for and got a great paying job with room for advancement (not at an oilsands company)
- I found a long-term living arrangement
What I didn’t realize when I made the commitment to be 100% responsible for my life, was that it didn’t just apply external situations like the ones listed above.
It also meant I took responsibility for how I was feeling, how I treated other people, and how I spent my energy.
If someone said something that upset me, I didn’t get to blame them for it anymore. I had to ask myself why it was triggering me.
If I snapped at someone, I didn’t get to justify it by saying they deserved it. I had to reflect on the situation and figure out what bothered me & why I react that way.
If I felt crappy every time I stayed up too late, I had to bed earlier - regardless of what I thought I would miss out on.
Although it took practice and more soul work than I would like to admit, my life became a lot less stressful. Turns out I had a lot more power over my life than I thought possible. I began choosing to do things that made me happy, or spend my time with people who made me feel good.
Being aware of how I spent my time made it easier to find the good things in my life to focus on. I want to challenge you to do the same. Commit to being responsible for you and only you - over and over again (remember, it takes practice).
For example, if I say something that makes you roll your eyes, instead of thinking I’m full crap, look inside and ask why it makes you want to dismiss it.
All of my biggest insights, moments of clarity & happiness have come from being brave enough to be honest with myself.
If you truly want to be happier in life - and I know you do because you’re here reading this - start with this one step.
In the comments below, I want to hear your commitment to this. Give me a giant HELL YEAH in the comments below.
That’s it – just 2 words. Publicly proclaim that from now on, regardless of what life throws at you, you are committed to being responsible for how you handle it. I know you can do this!
Lots of Love,