Hello My Friend,
Although today is a bittersweet day being the last day for Mindfulness with MB, I’m super stoked to bring you the best of everything that has worked for me. Let’s dive in!
There’s so much information on how to be more mindful. Honestly, it doesn’t matter which way you go! Attempting to be more present every day is what it’s all about it. There is no wrong way on how you chose to get there!
If you’re feeling a little overwhelmed and confused by it all, I’m gonna lovingly tell you to cut it out. However, I understand the initial feelings. The best mindsets that have worked for me are:
I usually go through this pattern too in my own practice during the day. Something happens that ticks me off, I surrender, get more patient, realign with love, and suddenly what was a big deal a few minutes ago, is nothing more than a minor inconvenience (worse case) or an opportunity for growth (at best).
When I get angry or frustrated, it’s usually because I have this vision or idea of how something should go. When things don’t go according to my plan, I get edgy. Normally, I fail to factor in the variables of life - other people, traffic jams, the weather, etc.
I try to use my annoyance as a reminder to let go of my plan, and allow the situation to play out however it’s meant to be. This might seem a bit Pollyanna. But whenever I have an expectation of how something should be, I’m missing out on the joy of how it is.
Does that make sense?
Now don’t get me wrong - if you know me, you know that this is something I don’t always get right. It is something I’ve worked on for a long time, and will continue to work on every day. When I surrender, I’m almost always rewarded with a day, event or tie spent with loved one that turns out more fun than anything I could’ve planned.
If you want to go deeper with this, I’m in the middle of a fantastic book, Letting Go: The pathway of Surrender by David R. Hawkins. It’s been instrumental in getting back in the habit of surrendering how I think something should be and enjoying it for how it is.
(No, I don’t receive any kick back for recommending this book. It’s just that darn good!)
As a new mom, my patience is tested on the daily as I figure out the trials and tribulations of motherhood. While it’s an amazing ride, there are still days when I’m counting the minutes until Daddy gets home!
They say that most people are living their life off of beliefs, attitudes and examples they learned by the time they are five years old. Yep, 5!
Good or bad, right or wrong, functional or not, this programming is how most of us are interacting with the world. If you think about it, that jerk that flipped you off, was rude to you on the phone or cut you off in the grocery store, is being run by their 5-year-old self.
This is why I try to always be patient and kind, even when people are rude to me. Usually it’s just a little child that is giving the commands to this adult. Plus, this adult, this human that you’re dealing with, was somebody’s baby at some point. As a mother, my hope is that people will treat my baby with kindness and patience. In order to receive that, I must first give it.
This doesn’t excuse people for their behaviour, but this isn’t a post about other people. This is a post about you and how to be more mindful in your life. By ignoring how others are behaving and focusing my attention on me and my reactions, I’m able to let of things pretty quickly.
Do I get it right all the time? Of course not! I’m a (5-year-old) human learning how to navigate the ever changing world. There’s always a new challenge or issue that tests my patience. It’s all about trying. The act of trying is what gets you into the present moment, which is what mindfulness is all about!
It’s important to be patient with yourself too. So often neglect this important step. Patient with others will come when you can be patient with yourself and all your shortcomings. There’s no shame in that. None of us are perfect. Patience with the flaws & all friend!
Once I’ve surrendered how the situation should be & accept it for how it is, and I’ve reminded myself to be patience, it’s much easier to act from a place of love. Which is the core concept of mindfulness in my humble opinion.
Treating people with love, regardless of their behaviour, has made the biggest difference in my practice. It’s not easy to love unruly adults, but it’s easier to love a 5-year-old child. It’s easier to ignore what people are doing and reclaim your power. You stop being set off by the minor inconveniences. You stop letting other people ruin your day.
Usually, the person you’re peeved at, has no idea that you’re upset. They aren’t affected it by it. YOU are. YOU are the one that has a miserable day, all because off something they did. Well, friend, they don’t have to live out your days and your life. You do. So let it go. Life really is too short.
There ya have it.
My fail proof ways of having a more peaceful, happy life. It really is that simple. Now, don’t confuse simple for easy. Just like a baby learning how to walk, this takes daily practice. Yes. DAILY. Don’t let this daunt you. You can absolutely do this. Over and over again!
If you know me, you know my love of books. Books have been so valuable to my practice. If you’re interested, I recommend checking out:
Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff by Richard Carlson
(Note: all of them are fantastic. Pick the one that stands out for you)
A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle
The Desire Map by Danielle Laporte
You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero
Letting Go: The pathway of Surrender by David R. Hawkins (as previously mentioned)
Well Friend, there you have it. My not-so-secret, fail proof way to living a happy, fulfilled life. Thank you so much for coming on this journey with me for the past year. It has been a blast, and an honour!
This doesn’t have to be the end for us. I’ll still be writing only now I’ll be supporting women in asking for more money at work. My mission is to eliminate the pay gap between men and women. If this is a cause you’d like to get behind, I’d love your support. Sign up here so we can keep in touch.
Again, thank you for letting me be a part of your journey. It has been such an amazing period in my life & I hope I was able to serve you in some small way.
Until our paths meet again, soulfully yours,