Do you deserve it?

Hello hello hello!

This past week I’ve been on a mission to help women get a raise. The one thing that keeps coming up (for myself as well as others) is a limiting belief that is sabotaging success.

It’s the belief that you won’t actually get the raise.

Now the circumstances might be different for people…
There’s no money in the budget
The economy sucks
I didn’t do anything special
I really screwed up that one time 6 months ago
….
and the list goes on & on

The one thing all these things have in common, is the underlying issue of deserving a raise…

I don’t deserve a raise because there’s no money in the budget….
I don’t deserve a raise because the economy sucks….
I didn’t do anything special so I don’t deserve a raise…
I screwed up that one time 6 months ago so I don’t deserve a raise.

I’m not saying these things to hurt your feelings or make you mad. Nor am I going to pretend to know all the details of your particular situation. But the one thing I do know is that if you don’t believe that you deserve it, then unfortunately, that’s what you’re going to get.

The best way to banish this belief is to simply be aware of it & then ask yourself when did I decide to believe this? I’ve heard Tony Robbins so many times.

When did I decide to believe that I don’t deserve a raise?

Or…

When did I decide to believe that my one mistake 6 months ago cost me a raise?

Or…just kidding. You get the picture.

If getting a raise isn’t something you struggle with, then I hope you can apply to this to a different area of your life. I’ve learned from my own coach that if there’s a belief in one area of your life, it’s usually in all the others.

But, if getting a raise is something you struggle with, then I really encourage you to reach out and book your free Get A Raise Now coaching session with me. It’s where we’ll figure out how much money you should ask for, make sure there aren’t any secret challenges that could be sabotaging your success, and get really excited and confident to finally have that conversation with your boss!

If this is something that would be helpful to you, please send me an email at mb@mbmurdock.com.

Soulfully yours,
MB

Using Fear for Happiness

Hey Soul Friend,

Do you ever think about doing something, but become so overwhelmed with fear and doubt that you talk yourself out of it?

Yeah, me too.

What if I told you that the amount of fear you feel, is in direct correlation to the amount of happiness you will receive if you push through and do it anyway?

Countless thought leaders, productivity coaches and world-class experts constantly preach that happiness is just outside your comfort zone.

Sometimes, that’s easier said than done.

The brain is wired to keep you safe. The moment you start thinking about doing something new, it instantly gets to work recalling every past experience, attempt or situation in which you went outside of your comfort zone and it blew up in your face.

It uses this emotional arsenal to shout DON’T DO IT! which drowns out the quiet whisper of your soul that says you can do this.

There’s a simple 4 step process that I use to call BS when my mind tries to pull this. It goes like this:

  1. Acknowledge what it is you’re afraid of:
    I’m afraid to write a blog

  2. Ask yourself why you’re afraid:
    My friends and family will make fun of me

  3. Ask yourself then what will happen:
    I will feel embarrassed

  4. Repeat step #3 until you get to a point of being OK with taking action despite your hesitations or you uncover a limiting belief that is keeping you stuck

    Then what?
    Nothing really, I’ll get over it in a day or two

    Then what?
    I’ll keep writing my blog, in hopes that it helps just one person

    Then what?
    Then it will be worth the slight discomfort I’m feeling now

Obviously this is a very simplistic example. You might come up against some heavy burdens or big demons. I encourage you to keep challenging them!

With enough self-compassion and self-awareness, I am confident that you can overcome anything that is keeping you stuck!!

I’d love to hear if this 4 step process helped you in any way. Please comment below or shoot me an email at mb@mbmurdock.com.

Soulfully yours,
MB

Emotional Episodes Instead of Marathons

Hi Soul Friend,

I have a question for you:

What if your bad mood was only as long as an episode on T.V. instead of an all-day marathon?

This was a question I asked myself after I had my own “episode.”

I felt justified for being in my bad mood.

My baby was teething. My partner really hurt himself. Nobody was sleeping.

After said baby covered me head to toe in baby puke (hellooooo projectile vomit), I hit the shower.

“Jeeze,” I thought to myself as I turned the water on.

I really need to wash this bad attitude off!”

And that’s exactly what I did.

(How? By staying present, feeling the warm water, smell of the shampoo, picturing my mood melting away….you know the drill)

Once out of the shower, I could hear my baby fussing.

The bad mood slowly began to creep back in.

No,” I said out loud.

I choose how I want to feel,” I declared as I looked myself straight in the eye.

“I choose joy” (my core desired feeling, à la Danielle Laporte).

Yes, at this point I was talking to myself, feeling slightly ridiculous but not really caring, because IT WAS WORKING!

I felt the bad mood disappear.

It wasn’t until later that evening I realized the whole episode lasted about 40 minutes.

The minuity of how very little time that was crashed against the realization that it had the power to ruin an entire day, if I let it.

40 minutes is nothing,” I thought to myself. “It's an episodes of Suits!”

Trying not to laugh at myself, I fully committed then & there to only let bad moods, feelings, thoughts, or experiences last as long as an episode on T.V.

So I ask you again - better yet, I challenge you to only let your bad mood be an episode in your otherwise wonderful day.

It might be hard some days, but the faster you can let the bad mood go and get on with your day, the happier you’ll be.

Being in a state of happiness more often and for longer periods of time attracts your desires to you.

Are you able to take control and only let your emotions have limited air time?

I’d love to know in the comments below!

Soulfully yours,
MB

It's Your Birthday!

Hi Soul Friend,

Earlier this week it was my birthday. I had the best day ever (and it had nothing to do with presents!)

You ever notice that everything seems to work perfectly for you on your birthday?

Here’s some examples from my day:

  • My baby slept in. Not just by half an hour either. She slept in an extra 2 hours!

  • I was running late to meet my mom for lunch (due to said baby sleeping in) and got stuck behind a slow moving vehicle. It was a windy road. Instead of having to patiently wait for a safe spot to pass, the vehicle pulled over!

  • The local bakery just happens to makes my favourite donuts on that particular day of the week.

I have more - from being booked in for a hair appointment, great visits with family, my favourite supper & an unexpected and sweet surprise.

As I laid in bed that night, replaying the day and being so grateful for being so spoiled, I had an epiphany:

What if everything works out perfectly on your birthday because you wake up in the morning expecting it?

What if you could harness that energy and make every day great?

I decided to test my theory for the rest of the week.

I gotta say - it works!

For the rest of the week I pretended that it was my birthday. I woke up every morning expecting it to be a great day full of surprises and awesomeness.

Here’s how my week went:

  • I was able to get a reiki appointment (I’d been trying since October)

  • My baby (who usually makes strange) was happy, laughing and smiley at people when we went out

  • My best friend bought me lunch (to celebrate my birthday)

  • An unexpected cheque arrived

  • I received clarity around a question I had been meditating on

  • I solved a problem I was struggling with (struggling for a few weeks now)

  • A bill was lower than we were budgeting for

  • A gift that might not arrive in time for Christmas showed up

Besides these cool things, my energy level was higher, I was more productive and things that would normally stress me out weren’t such a big deal.

So I’m calling it: my theory is right!

I’m sure this is a famous saying by someone much smarter than me:

Act as if and it will happen!

Now I start off the day with the same energy as if it’s my birthday.

At night, I reflect on all the great things that came and give gratitude for them.

I know it might be a bit challenging to tap into this energy if you don’t have a birthday on the near horizon, but give it a shot.

Your day will be surprisingly sweet!

If you try this, I’d love to know how it goes for you so please please please comment below and let me know!

Soulfully yours,
MB

PS: I think part of the equation is that you also have to surrender how you think the day will go and just let it unfold. Usually you don’t get to plan your birthday and you rely on your loved ones to make the day great. Apply that same energy (without the expectation that your loved ones will do all the work).

Begin and End with Gratitude

Hey there Soul Friend,

I’ve been thinking a lot about this blog and the content I post. I struggle between telling the story of my journey, not sounding “preachy,” and giving you valuable content that will help you on yours (again, without sounding “preachy”).

So this is my attempt (from now on) to blend the two together.

Here goes.

The pros say to start and end your day with gratitude.

I’ve understood this concept for YEEEEARS (just like I’m sure you have too) but never really put it into practice.

I tried and made a little progress. You know, like smelling my keurig coffee pod when I opened it in the mornings. What a glorious smell first thing in the morning. But that’s about as deep as it went.

Lately, something has switched. I’ve been noticing so many beautiful things as I wake up in the morning and get the day going.

When you’re busy getting ready in the morning, see if you can find any small thing that you love. Yes, mine started with smelling coffee. I did that for a long time, I swear. I stayed in that spot for so long. Be better than me, stretch a little farther.

I graduated from coffee to sunrises. Beautiful scenery actually. Any time I look outside or I am outside, I try to enjoy view.

It’s true what the pros say: The way you begin your day sets the tone for the rest of your day.

Being grateful isn’t about having these magnificent, Instagram extraordinary things or experiences happen to you a random Wednesday night.

It’s about recognizing the little things every day in life: how warm your facecloth is in the morning, how warm the sun is when it shines on your hand, etc.

When you recognize these moments, let it “catch your awareness” - stay in the moment and love every minute of it!

The third part to finish out this manifesting equation is to end your day with gratitude. Run through your mental list of all the things that stopped you in your tracks through out the day.

By remembering them, you relive the moment. Your brain can’t tell the difference between the actual moment and the memory of it. So by reliving it, you are reinforcing it in your mind. You’re hot wiring your brain, so to speak (same thing applies with telling yourself only positive thoughts too by the way).

Anyways, before you start snoring or drooling on your pillow for the night (no? That’s just me?), run through your list.

Say thank you for the things that went right. Cut yourself some slack and ask for a second chance for the things that didn’t go right and then let that go!

Gratitude is a super attractor. Being grateful for what you have now makes way for more to come.

The Universe wants to know you are able to recognize and appreciate what is going right for you now before the Universe is sure you will be able to recognize and appreciate what you ask for.

While this is still something I practice and strengthen daily, what I know for sure is what you ask for never looks how you think it will. So put your seat belt on.

Soulfully yours,
MB

Follow the Joy

Hey Soul Friend,

Do you have big goals? Goals that require focus and determination? Goals you will do anything to make it happen?

So do I.

In order to complete my goals, I used to map out a schedule. It dictated how and when I would finish things. While having a plan is a great tool, what I realized was I would ignore how I was feeling when I did the task.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Sometimes you need to push through your feelings and get things done.

But when I loosened the reigns (a bit) and didn’t follow my schedule so tightly, and prioritized feeling good while I worked on my to-do list, my end product was always better!

What I’m learning is that by surrendering - surrendering how I want things to be, surrendering when I do things - and instead follow the joy (of doing things that feel good), I get better results.

To me, that’s another confirmation that the Universe always has the very best in store for me - and I know it does for you too!

Is there something you’ve been struggling with? Pushing to make it happen? If so, try handing it over to the Universe. Chase the things that feel good. You might just be amazed at the results!

If you give this a shot, I’d love to know how it turned out for you!

Soulfully yours,
MB

Mastering Change With One Small Trick

Hey Soul Friend,

They say the only constant thing in life is change.

If that’s true, then why do so many of resist, myself included?

Any change, big or small, used to send me into a tizzy! I’d spiral into overwhelm and confusion at the drop of a hat…er…change.

It took me a while to realize that by resisting it, I was actually responsible for creating all the chaos.

Usually, the changes I was faced with were minor. It was my perspective and approach to it that made me think I would never figure it out.

I overcame this using one simple trick: Deep breathing.

Anytime I came across a change, instead of freaking out I forced myself to remain calm and breath!

When I did this, I was able to keep a clear a head and focus on what was needed.

Making this small change erased most of the overwhelm. I was able to finish new tasks quicker, and I was generally more happy and upbeat. Change didn’t instantly signal challenge to me anymore.

Instead, change became opportunities to learn and grow my skills.

I’m curious, how do you handle change? Do you welcome it with open arms? Or will you be implementing my deep breathing trick? Comment below and let me know!

Soulfully yours,
MB

Mastering Change With One Small Trick

Hey Soul Friend,

They say the only constant thing in life is change.

If that’s true, then why do so many of resist, myself included?

Any change, big or small, used to send me into a tizzy! I’d spiral into overwhelm and confusion at the drop of a hat…er…change.

It took me a while to realize that by resisting it, I was actually responsible for creating all the chaos.

Usually, the changes I was faced with were minor. It was my perspective and approach to it that made me think I would never figure it out.

I overcame this using one simple trick: Deep breathing.

Anytime I came across a change, instead of freaking out I forced myself to remain calm and breath!

When I did this, I was able to keep a clear a head and focus on what was needed.

Making this small change erased most of the overwhelm. I was able to finish new tasks quicker, and I was generally more happy and upbeat. Change didn’t instantly signal challenge to me anymore.

Instead, change became opportunities to learn and grow my skills.

I’m curious, how do you handle change? Do you welcome it with open arms? Or will you be implementing my deep breathing trick? Comment below and let me know!

Soulfully yours,
MB

Be Busy Being Happy

Hi Soul Friend,

At any moment you can change your mood, your atmosphere.

Learn the difference between emotions (temporary ways you feel after interactions or reactions) and mood. Moods are long term. A mood is how you, the driver of your life, most often feels.

Emotions are wilder. Harder to control. Requires self awareness, self discipline & taking responsibility - for all of it. Sometimes this can be a bitter pill to swallow.

Mood is the foundation for your life. The core feeling you have about your whole life - your job, your relationships, your desires.

Mood can be established, built or practiced while you alone, by becoming friends with the voice in your mind.

Not feeling your happiest? Pay attention to the tape that’s stuck on repeat in your mind. Challenge the thoughts that are being played over and over again.

Conquering your mood will establish doors in your life for the Universe to deliver your desires. So it’s important you have a strong foundation for it.

Did I mention EVERYTHING is connected? Everything. It’s weird how the feelings of joy and happiness for your life exactly as it is right now is what the Universe needs to create a door. Being aware of all the awesome currently in your life is the door needed for everything you desire.

Often what blocks you from receiving everything you want in life is the inability to realize it is that simple.

Be aware and grateful for all the awesome in your life right now.

It really is that easy.

We don’t have the ability to see the whole picture. We’re only given puzzle pieces, one tiny piece at a time. However the final picture is beautiful. So let the doors be plentiful so the Universe can bust through quickly.

Follow the things that bring you joy. Be patient and trust that what you receive will be exactly what you’ve been chasing.

Remember that it’s all connected.

Most importantly, remember to walk through the door when it appears too.

Soulfully yours,
MB

Slow Down

Hi Soul Friend,

What I’m about to suggest is easier said than done, especially if you work in a fast-paced environment that rewards how quickly you can get things done:

Slowing down.

By slowing down, I want you to make a point of being awake and aware of how you go about your day.

From the minute your feet hit the ground in the morning, to your drive into work (put on some awesome tunes and really enjoy your coffee) straight through to your first break.

So often we get so busy that we forget to eat but this is a great time to have a snack, refill your water bottle (or coffee cup) and stretch your legs.

At lunch time, try to take a longer break, one where you can enjoy your lunch instead of wolfing something down at your desk while you respond to emails.

You’ll need your energy to get through that 2 p.m. lull where it feels like the day will never end. This is a good time to take another 10 minute snack/water or coffee/stretch break.

By making room in your day for your well-being, you’re able to:
a) appreciate your day more
b) notice the little things
c) have more energy for your evenings

The evenings are when your free time kicks in. It’s important you have enough energy to do the things you love instead of crashing the moment you walk in the door.

Maybe you’re a parent and don’t have the luxury of just grabbing food and plopping down on the couch. Maybe for you, this is just the beginning of your second shift.

Either way, the evenings belong to you and you deserve to enjoy them.

Make a point of slowing down, even if the only purpose is to have enough energy to enjoy your evening instead of constantly waiting for the weekend to come.

This week’s Call To Action: comment below with a simply yes if you’re someone who is constantly waiting for it to be Friday.

If you are, try slowing down. Appreciate the little things during your day that do go right. It might take some practice, but I think you’ll find that this simple act really makes a big difference in your happiness.

Soulfully yours,
MB

There's only right now

Hi Soul Friend,

I have some shocking news for you: the only time you have is now. Right now. Not tomorrow. Not yesterday. Today. More specifically, now.

You become tricked into thinking that you have an unlimited amount of time. Not to be morbid, but nobody really knows for sure how much.

So lean into the moments of love and really be conscious of them. Be aware of when they are happening.

Don't get too wrapped up in chasing the shiny things in life - the fancy job title, the new car, the designer duds. When the time comes, all that stuff stays here.

Love those around you, love them hard. Don't take yourself too seriously. Be willing to learn. Be willing to grow.

Yes, growing your bank account is nice. But growing your soul is even better. That at least carries over when you go.

And yes, to be clear, I firmly believe that this life is not the end…but when we go, it's sh*tty AF for our loved ones.

I've been studying a lot about blogs lately and they always say to include a Call To Action - the thing you want people to do after reading your stuff (download this, buy that).

Well, this is my Call To Action from you: Love your loved ones. Today & every day, even on the days when it's hard.

It will be the best damn thing you ever do & it will be your legacy to the world.

Soulfully yours,
MB

You Get What You Give

Hey Soul Friend,

What you put out, you receive back into your life.

Simple.

Take a look and see how you are treating people.

Are you talking to them in a way that promotes good things to come your way?

Or are you being a bit of an a-hole?

Be aware of your thoughts. If you have a smile on your face but a snarky commentary going on in your mind - guess what signal will be sent out to the Universe?

Not the fake smile, that’s for sure.

If you do suffer from the “fake smile” syndrome, know that there is time to change the thoughts in your mind.

Just because you think something, you can chose to pick a different thought.

All you need to do is:

1) Be aware of the rude comment

2) Tell yourself you’re not going to repeat that habit

3) Pick a nicer, friendlier comment.

(Sidebar - is friendlier even a word!? hahah)

With time and practice, this will become second nature to you.

Until then, asking yourself the below three questions will help you decide if you need to pick a new thought:

Is it kind?

Is it true?

Is it necessary?

If you can answer yes to all 3 questions, then you’re good.

If not, keep practicing the 3 steps above to train your brain to be nice.

After all, the world needs a little more kindness.

I’m curious, have you practiced these three questions before? Has it made a difference in your life? In your stress levels?

If so, I’d love to hear your story so please comment below!

Soulfully yours,
MB

They're Just Words

They're Just Words

When I first began learning about the law of attraction and how to manifest, I didn't get it right away. The whole process seemed confusing & the words were very aloof and "whoo whoo." It felt like everything I was reading was using a lot of words to say nothing at all. All the lessons were lost on me. It was so discouraging.